NOW let us examine, most excellent Liberalis, what still remains from the first part of the subject — the question of the way in which a benefit should be given. And in this matter I think that I can point out a very easy course — let us give in the manner that would have been acceptable if we were receiving. Above all let us give willingly, promptly, and without hesitation.
No gratitude is felt for a, benefit when it has lingered long in the hands of him who gives it, or when the giver has seemed sorry to let it go, and has given it with the air of one who was robbing himself. Even though some delay should intervene, let us avoid in every way the appearance of having deliberately delayed; hesitation is the next thing to refusing, and gains no gratitude. For, since in the case of a benefit the chief pleasure of it comes from the intention of the bestower, he who by his very hesitation has shown that he made his bestowal unwillingly has not “given,” but has failed to withstand the effort to extract it; there are many indeed who become generous only from a lack of courage. The benefits that stir most gratitude are those which are readily and easily obtainable and rush to our hands, where, if there is any delay, it has come only from the delicacy of the recipient. The best course is to anticipate each one’s desire; the next best, to indulge it. The first is the better — to forestall the request before it is put; for, since a respectable man seals his lips and is covered with blushes if he has to beg, he who spares him this torture multiplies the value of his gift. The man who receives a benefit because he asked for it, does not get it for nothing, since in truth, as our forefathers, those most venerable men, discerned, no other thing costs so dear as the one that entreaty buys. If men had to make their vows to the gods openly, they would be more sparing of them; so true is it that even to the gods, to whom we most rightly make supplication, we would rather pray in silence and in the secrecy of our hearts.