Fabius Verrucosus used to say that a benefit rudely given by a hard-hearted man is like a loaf of gritty bread, which a starving man needs must accept, but which is bitter to eat.
When Marius Nepos, a praetorian, being in debt, asked Tiberius Caesar to come to his rescue, Tiberius ordered him to supply him with the names of his creditors; but this is really, not making a gift, but assembling creditors. When the names had been supplied, he wrote to Nepos that he had ordered the money to be paid, adding at the same time some offensive admonition. The result was that Nepos had neither a debt nor, a true benefit; Tiberius freed him from his creditors, but failed to attach him to himself. Yet Tiberius had his purpose; he wished to prevent others, I suppose, from rushing to him in order to make the same request. That, perhaps, may have been an effective way to check, through a sense of shame, the extravagant desires of men, but a wholly different method must be followed by one who is giving a benefit. In order that what you give may become the more acceptable, you should enhance its value by every. possible means. Tiberius was really not giving a benefit — he was finding fault.