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even the person who is assisted must be deceived, in\norder that he may receive our bounty without knowing the source\nfrom whence it flows. It is said that Arcesilaus had a friend who\nwas poor, but concealed his poverty; who was ill, yet tried to hide\nhis disorder, and who had not money for the necessary expenses of\nexistence. Without his knowledge, Arcesilaus placed a bag of money\nunder his pillow, in order that this victim of false shame might\nrather seem to find what he wanted than to receive. \"What,\" say\nyou, \"ought he not to know from whom he received it?\" Yes; let him\nnot know it at first, if it be essential to your kindness that he\nshould not; afterwards I will do so much for him, and give him so\nmuch that he will perceive who was the giver of the former benefit;\nor, better still, let him not know that he has received any thing,\nprovided I know that I have given it. \"This,\" you say, \"is to get\ntoo little return for one's goodness.\" True, if it be an investment\nof which you are thinking; but if a gift, it should be given in the\nway which will be of most service to the receiver. You should be\nsatisfied with the approval of your own conscience; if not, you do\nnot really delight in doing good, but in being seen to do good.\n\"For all that,\" say you, \"I wish him to know it.\" Is it a debtor\nthat you seek for? \"For all that, I wish him to know it.\" What!\nthough it be more useful, more creditable, more pleasant for him\nnot to know his benefactor, will you not consent to stand aside? \"I\nwish him to know.\" So, then, you would not save a man's life in the\ndark? I do not deny that, whenever the matter admits of it, one\nought to take into consideration the pleasure which we receive from\nthe joy of the receiver of our kindness; but if he ought to have\nhelp and is ashamed to receive it--if what we bestow upon him pains\nhim unless it be concealed--I forbear to make my benefits public.\nWhy should I not refrain from hinting at my having given him\nanything, when the first and most essential rule is, never to\nreproach a man with what you have done for him, and not even to\nremind him of it. The rule for the giver and receiver of a benefit\nis, that the one should straightway forget that he has given, the\nother should never forget that he has received it.\n\u003C/p>","html",[],1785969058570]